• 教育快訊
  • 聚焦學霸熱點,輔助學習提分快

啰嗦的父母,為什么養不好孩子? 精選

2018-09-30 小霸總

??父母對同一問題不斷說教,就是一種單調的刺激,孩子慢慢會關閉自己的耳朵,你的話就像背景噪音,孩子充耳不聞。特別是青春期的孩子,長此以往會封閉內心不愿和父母溝通,甚至出現逆反心理。這種現象在心理學上叫做超限效應,它是指刺激過多、過強或作用時間過久,從而引起心理極不耐煩或逆反的心理現象。說白了,就是你太啰嗦!

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??在啰嗦中長大的孩子會怎樣?

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??帶女兒逛花鳥市場,女兒見著各色各樣的花鳥,高興地手舞足蹈,一陣逛奔后汗流浹背,頭發也濕漉漉地貼滿了臉頰。看她滿頭大汗,我翻出包里的皮筋,想幫她把頭發扎起。向來不愛扎頭發的女兒,見我拿出皮筋,一溜煙地跑走了,我追在后面使勁喊:快點過來。我越追,她跑得越興奮,在她看來,這更像是在玩賽跑游戲。兩個人繞著花市中的鋪面跑了兩圈,最后我敗了,皮筋被老老實實放回包里。女兒雖贏了,但贏得一點也不爽快。

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??后來的閑逛中,我不停地給女兒更換汗巾,還不忘責怪她拒絕把頭發綁起來;喋喋不休地碎碎念惹惱了女兒,她沖我咆哮:媽媽,你別說我了!同行的朋友也提醒說:對啊,你老說綁頭發,我都快受不了了。被大朋友小朋友這么一說,我才恍然醒悟,這一路,我像只蚊子一樣,不停地在孩子和朋友面前,嗡嗡嗡地叫,如果換做是我早就忍受不了了。

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??過度啰嗦,會失去孩子的尊重

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??父母過度啰嗦,有時會失去孩子的尊重。在家庭里,父母是受人尊敬的。而有一種父母,逐漸失去了孩子對自己的敬愛,那就是啰嗦的父母。有位家長表示說,孩子有個習慣,每天回家就把自己臥室的門順手關上。本來她還不能理解孩子的這種自閉行為,后來才發現,孩子把自己關在房間里,聽聽收音機,收拾收拾衣物,甚至發發呆,都不愿從屋里出來,因為耳邊沒有媽媽的碎碎念,孩子覺得這樣很舒服。

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??父母太啰嗦,孩子的心理可能就會從原來的內疚不安到反感討厭再到無視麻木狀態,最后被逼急了,還會出現我偏要這樣我偏不讓你如愿的逆反心理和行為。因此,時間過長、內容過多或教育方式單調重復等不良教育手段,均可引起孩子的超限效應。

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??那么,在教育孩子的過程中,父母到底該如何避免超限效應,達到有效溝通呢?

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??指令清晰明確、現實可行:明確告訴孩子:我希望你把桌面清理干凈,給你一小時時間專心完成作業,完成后你才可以走出房間做其他事。我相信你能做到的。指令中包含時間、任務和你對他的期待,清晰明確,現實可行。

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??示范正確行為,給孩子成長時間:相信孩子并不想故意犯錯來惹怒父母或為難挑戰父母,很可能只是他不知道或者還沒有足夠的能力去做好。所以家長在指出孩子錯誤行為的同時,更應該示范正確的做法,并且幫助孩子掌握正確行為的能力。

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