• 教育快訊
  • 聚焦學霸熱點,輔助學習提分快

中國式父母:逢人必談孩子,孩子等于面子 精選

2018-10-01 小霸總

??孩子,幾乎是每個家長的心頭寶,而優秀的孩子成了父母炫耀的對象;其實,孩子是家庭的一面鏡子,想改變孩子,父母就要改變自己。有人在知乎上問:中國父母最喜歡聊的話題是什么?答案:孩子。

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??參加聚會,酒過三巡,年輕的父母們便開始閑聊,同學小A說:養孩子太不容易,今年光給孩子報興趣班就花了五位數B接上話茬說:現在孩子講究全面發展,我家兒子從幼兒園就要學習舞蹈、鋼琴、奧數。總算沒辜負我的期望,上次舞蹈大賽得了全校第一C一聽話鋒不對,說:現在舞蹈、鋼琴都爛大街了,要學就學冷門藝術,比如葫蘆絲、嗩吶,我家毛毛就學的嗩吶,將來考試是可以加分的。

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??炫耀孩子的行為反應了中國人強烈的自尊和虛榮心理,丟面子就意味著否定自己的才能,這是萬萬不能接受的。你是我的孩子,就是我的面子。只許比別人強,不能比別人弱,否則就是丟了我的臉。易中天直言不諱地說:教育的目標是望子成龍,標準是成王敗寇,方法是死記硬背,手段是不斷施壓

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??《傷仲永》的故事流傳至今,5歲就能作詩的方仲永,卻硬生生被父親拉著到處炫耀,最后落得個泯然眾人,靈性全無。只有極低自尊心的父母才通過炫耀孩子來填補內心的空洞感和焦慮,通過炫耀孩子,會讓他們自尊感爆棚,于是就把過高的期望值過繼到孩子身上。

??作為父母,人到中年,青春漸消,工作波瀾不驚,生活平淡如水,他們迫切需要找一種方式填補心里空缺,達到精神上的撫慰。言語上的炫耀,滿足他們內心對憧憬美好的渴望,無中生有,恣意捏造,把平凡的子女包裝成人中翹楚、無人能比,這種膚淺的虛榮心,讓孩子不僅自覺壓力過大,又對父母心生嫌惡。

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??孩子比大人想象的脆弱且敏感,成長在父母言語夸耀中的孩子,難免壓力巨大且焦慮;父母從孩子身上借一道光,照亮自己的全世界。事與愿違,這道光最終帶給孩子的卻是一種痛。父母用虛假的勝利,達到虛榮的目的,孩子求真的價值觀被扭曲,痛苦與嫌惡在心里交織,矛盾在心里翻滾。痛在心里口難開。愛攀比的父母們,別因虛榮而被孩子看輕!

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??在父母極力的攀比之下,孩子有樣學樣,自小就有強烈的攀比心理。一旦無可炫耀,就怨天尤人,或對父母心懷不滿。沒有不愛孩子的父母,這是普世道理。愛的方式有很多種,唯獨炫耀是色厲內荏的一種。與其夸夸其談,不如低頭看清腳下的路;與其焦慮攀比,不如帶孩子開拓眼見,和孩子再經歷一次童年。別讓炫耀的話,毒害孩子,毀了他們的前程。

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